Captured From A Chat Discussion - Some People Still Have A Sense Of Humor!
| Gore is a....... |
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| Started by: franklin | Sent: 12/4/2000 9:17 PM | 62 Replies |
| I watched the Judge in Leon County deliver his verdict today and couldn't help but think that at some point these Judges, no matter how fair their trying to be, have gotta be thinking "This guy's a weenie". | ||
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| From: franklin | Sent: 12/7/2000 8:57 PM | 48 of 62 |
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GUIDE FOR DETERMINING VOTER INTENT
NO PUNCHES ON CARD-- Is a Gore vote cast by a blind person who tried to feel for the right spot but could not. They knew Gore would fight for them. HANGING CHADS-- Gore vote because Gore is a better hang-er on-err than Bush. DIMPLES ON BALLOTS--Vote for Gore, because every American knows that Gore was supposed to win this election and it is only the dimples that can give Gore a win. GARAGE DOOR CHADS--Gore vote because Democrats would rather count the suspect ballots in a closed garage with no-one watching. SWINGING CHADS-- Goes to Big Al, because deep down we all know how he swings from being one person to another. MULTIPLE DIMPLES AROUND CHADS-- Each dimple is a vote for Al Gore because that person really liked Gore and since the voter intended 3 to 4 votes for Gore, he should get them all. NO VOTES--These votes must go to Gore because a no vote is a vote against Bush, since the intent of the voter was to say no to Bush, it is a yes vote for Al. INTERNET VOTES-- Obvious vote for Gore because he invented the Internet. MILITARY VOTES-- Gore wants all of these, but since voter intent is clear on these, Gore would rather have as few counted as possible. Gore, it would appear, wants to have the NATO/UN control our military so he doesn't care. BUCHANAN VOTES-- Looks like he lost them all............to Gore. NADER VOTES--Maybe they were hidden amongst the trees. BUSH VOTES-- Should go to Gore because the polls, exit polls, and popular vote told Gore everyone wanted him and not Bush. ALL THE REST OF THE VOTES--Gore concedes these should go to Bush |
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Franklin, just for you buddy!
Sung to the tune of "The ballad of Jed Clampett"
From the BEVERLY HILLBILLIES
Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named Gore
A snippy Democrat, who was really quite a bore
On election day of his Presidential bout
He thought he lost the fight but he got to recount
ballots that is... punch cards... butterflies
Well the next thing you know they're countin' 'em again
He lost a second time so he gave it all some spin
They said Palm Beach is the place you oughta be
So he hired legal experts from Tallahassee
Florida that is... sunshine state... deadlocked
Well the next thing you know they wanna change the rules
And play around with votes cause they think we're a bunch of fools
They riled lotsa folks and they made a lotta fuss
Till Cheney came along and started kickin' butts
Buttocks that is... liberal hineys... left-wing tuchas
Al Gore whined that the system wasn't fair
After countin' ballot holes that weren't even there
Kate Harris said that the recount was a joke
But that didn't stop the liberals from tallyin' votes
Democrat votes that is... hangin' chad... dimpled ballots
Well the State Supreme Court gave Gore another break
They let him count again cause the party was at stake
But just when he thought that his dream was born anew
The overseas votes gave it all to W
George W that is... Texas Governor... President-elect
Now it's time to say good-bye to Al and all his kin
He tried to steal some votes but it didn't help him win
You're all invited over to his house in Tennessee
To sit around and blubber at his pity-party
Nashville that is... pout a while... have some sour grapes
Ya'll have fun now... Ya Hear?
| From: franklin | Sent: 12/7/2000 9:01 PM | 49 of 62 |
How
the Gorinch Stole the Election
But the Gorinch who wished to rule Who-ville did NOT! The Gorinch was a liar, he lied without reason! He made up wild stories the whole voting season. It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right. It could be he simply just wasn't too bright. But I think that the most likely reason of all May have been that he just had no ethics at all. But whatever the reason, His ethics or brains, He stood there on voting day, dreaming of gains. While the voters were choosing with each little push of a button, they gave the election to Bush. For he knew every Who down in Who-ville below, would give his career a right jolly heave-ho. "They're punching their ballots" he sneered with a sneer. "And tomorrow its final, it's practically here!" Then he growled with his Gorinch fingers nervously drumming, "I MUST find a way to stop justice from coming!" For tomorrow he knew, All the women and men, Would wake bright and early and turn on CNN. And then! Oh the noise! The Republican cheers! We're Democrat - free, if just for four years. Then the Whos young and old, would sit down to a feast, And toast a Republican toast at the least. They would toast to the truth and to lower taxation, Two subjects that gave the Gorinch great vexation. Then he got an idea! An illegal idea. The Gorinch got a slimy illegal idea! "I know just what to do" The Gorinch looked at the clock. And he beckoned his lawyers from under their rocks. He plotted and thought, then he thought and he plotted, They connived and conspired with brains most besotted. All I need's an excuse... The Gorinch looked around. But excuses were scarce, there were none to be found. The law was quite clear, but the Gorinch simply said. "If I can't find a reason I'll invent one instead!" So he called CNN as the others would follow, He gave them a script which was all rather hollow. "Dispense with the truth, tell a lie and repeat it" "If they hear it enough then those suckers will eat it" Tell make-believe stories to all you can reach, and tell of the morons who live in Palm Beach. We won't call them 'stupid' or names that will linger, Even though they could be on the next Jerry Springer. Then he loaded some bags like a loser demented, With thousands of ballots though no law consented. And proceeded to handle them, changes were simple, Making up rules about doubles and dimples. Just dislodge a few chads and the numbers start changing, Invent a new rule if they need re-arranging. So the Gorinch grabbed the ballots and started to cheat, When he heard a small noise sounding quite like defeat. He turned around fast, it was Katherine Harris, Who held up the law... and the Gorinch was embarrassed! The Gorinch had been caught by this Florida daughter, Who dumped on his plans a great bucket of water. She stared at the Gorinch and said "Back off, buster" "I've read the law and this doesn't pass muster" And the Gorinch had no answer, he knew it was true. Without lies his political life would be through. But the Gorinch was so slimy and ever so slick, He thought up a lie and he thought it up quick. "I'm not making changes" the old master lied "There's a chad on this ballot that's dislodged on one side" "So I'm taking it home for my cronies to mount it" "Then we'll bring it back here so we can re-count it" And his fib made the news, which proceeded to sell it Like snake-oil salesmen they continued to yell it. Piling the lies just as high as a steeple, and telling the world "Its the will of the people" He stole enough votes to defraud the election, Depriving the Whos of their right to selection. Establishing precedent of the most dire sort, Now every election will be handled in court. This isn't a story that ends with a line that the Gorinch will suddenly sprout enough spine to concede that he lost and just step aside He'll cheat and he'll lie till his last hope has died. Only Whos can stand up for the Who-Constitution, And bring this election to swift resolution. By writing and calling, by shouting and faxing, By holding to law in a grip unrelaxing. For whatever your politics, all should be joined in belief that the White House cannot be purloined. |
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Every
Who down in Who-ville thought laws meant a lot...
| From: franklin | Sent: 12/7/2000 9:02 PM | 50 of 62 |
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TO THE TUNE OF THE HOKEY POKEY You put
your stylus in, You pull your stylus out, You put your stylus in, And you punch Buchanan out. You do the Palm Beach Pokey And you turn the count around, That's what it's all about! You put some Gore votes in, You put the Bush votes out, You put the Gore votes in, And you do another count. You do the Palm Beach Pokey And you turn the count around, That's what it's all about! You bring your lawyers in,
You bring your lawyers in, And you put it all in doubt. You do the Palm Beach Pokey And you turn the count around, That's what it's all about! You let your doctors spin,
You let your doctors spin, And your people whine and pout, You do the Palm Beach Pokey And you turn the count around, That's what it's all about! |
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You
drag the whole thing out,
You
let the pundits spout,
| From: latiger | Sent: 12/7/2000 9:06 PM | 51 of 62 |
| I love it, but you're gonna get attention now!! lmao! | ||
| From: franklin | Sent: 12/7/2000 9:11 PM | 52 of 62 |
| Yeah, I know. Ain't life great!!! | ||
| From: franklin | Sent: 12/7/2000 9:18 PM | 53 of 62 |
| Oh, by the way...I found this stuff at www.gopfun.com Try out the ballot. It's a hoot! franklin | ||
| From: latiger | Sent: 12/7/2000 9:22 PM | 54 of 62 |
| 'K, but not tonight! I'm past my bedtime! See ya tomorrow! | ||
| From: Cheeker77 | Sent: 12/7/2000 9:37 PM | 55 of 62 |
| FRanklin my dear Im in chat. Come get me LOL Cheeky-pooh | ||
| From: hope | Sent: 12/8/2000 3:23 AM | 56 of 62 |
hello, its me again..
I just came accrossed this and I had to check it out but it's not what
I expected....I almost wet my pants laughing, too funny, oh by the
way, I'm Canadian hope |
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| From: lilacLady | Sent: 12/8/2000 9:21 AM | 57 of 62 |
| LOVED IT GUYS!! And I take back any nasty thing I was muttering about you!! Ha! This is to show that not ALL Floridians have lost their sense-of-humor!! No, seriously, thanks for replying to my message, I was having a bad hair day. I guess this political crap is getting to me!! Why don't they just put Bush in office and end it already, he'll get there anyway. But who knows how we are all going to feel about him after 2 years. Maybe Gore, or even Clinton, will look pretty good by then. And God help us all if Jeb Bush decides to run too, he ain't done much for Florida!!!!! Have a Nice Day everyone!! | ||
| From: FarmerTX | Sent: 12/10/2000 9:58 AM | 58 of 62 |
| Franklin you are to much but like it. I have been busy and looks like I missed a lotkeep it coming Farmer | ||
| From: franklin | Sent: 12/10/2000 10:58 AM | 59 of 62 |
| Farmer...good to have you back. Glad you enjoyed it, hope to read more of you soon! franklin | ||
| From: chattybrit | Sent: 12/10/2000 4:22 PM | 60 of 62 |
Hello Franklin, and everyone else! 
Chat soon,Brit |
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| From: Cheeker77 | Sent: 12/13/2000 7:38 AM | 61 of 62 | |
This is for you
latiger!!! I got this in email thought you'd like it and besides I have
to do my job and keep you laughing for 20 days till Brit gets back. LOL
I told her I would keep you cheery and laughing. And since I know you are
Al Gores number 1 fan I thought I would share this with you.
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| From: latiger | Sent: 12/13/2000 7:42 AM | 62 of 62 |
Cheeker, Brittney would be proud of you! You're doing a
good job! I love it!! |
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