the Gorinch Stole the Election
Who down in Who-ville thought laws meant a lot...
the Gorinch who wished to rule Who-ville did NOT!
Gorinch was a liar, he lied without reason!
made up wild stories the whole voting season.
could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
could be he simply just wasn't too bright.
I think that the most likely reason of all
have been that he just had no ethics at all.
whatever the reason,
ethics or brains,
stood there on voting day, dreaming of gains.
the voters were choosing with each little push
a button, they gave the election to Bush.
he knew every Who down in Who-ville below,
give his career a right jolly heave-ho.
punching their ballots" he sneered with a sneer.
tomorrow its final, it's practically here!"
he growled with his Gorinch fingers nervously drumming,
MUST find a way to stop justice from coming!"
tomorrow he knew,
the women and men,
wake bright and early and turn on CNN.
then! Oh the noise! The Republican cheers!
Democrat - free, if just for four years.
the Whos young and old, would sit down to a feast,
toast a Republican toast at the least.
would toast to the truth and to lower taxation,
subjects that gave the Gorinch great vexation.
he got an idea!
Gorinch got a slimy illegal idea!
know just what to do" The Gorinch looked at the clock.
he beckoned his lawyers from under their rocks.
plotted and thought, then he thought and he plotted,
connived and conspired with brains most besotted.
I need's an excuse...
Gorinch looked around.
excuses were scarce, there were none to be found.
law was quite clear, but the Gorinch simply said.
I can't find a reason I'll invent one instead!"
he called CNN as the others would follow,
gave them a script which was all rather hollow.
with the truth, tell a lie and repeat it"
they hear it enough then those suckers will eat it"
make-believe stories to all you can reach,
tell of the morons who live in Palm Beach.
won't call them 'stupid' or names that will linger,
though they could be on the next Jerry Springer.
he loaded some bags like a loser demented,
thousands of ballots though no law consented.
proceeded to handle them, changes were simple,
up rules about doubles and dimples.
dislodge a few chads and the numbers start changing,
a new rule if they need re-arranging.
the Gorinch grabbed the ballots and started to cheat,
he heard a small noise sounding quite like defeat.
turned around fast, it was Katherine Harris,
held up the law... and the Gorinch was embarrassed!
Gorinch had been caught by this Florida daughter,
dumped on his plans a great bucket of water.
stared at the Gorinch and said "Back off, buster"
read the law and this doesn't pass muster"
the Gorinch had no answer, he knew it was true.
lies his political life would be through.
the Gorinch was so slimy and ever so slick,
thought up a lie and he thought it up quick.
not making changes" the old master lied
a chad on this ballot that's dislodged on one side"
I'm taking it home for my cronies to mount it"
we'll bring it back here so we can re-count it"
his fib made the news, which proceeded to sell it
snake-oil salesmen they continued to yell it.
the lies just as high as a steeple,
telling the world "Its the will of the people"
stole enough votes to defraud the election,
the Whos of their right to selection.
precedent of the most dire sort,
every election will be handled in court.
isn't a story that ends with a line
the Gorinch will suddenly sprout enough spine
concede that he lost and just step aside
cheat and he'll lie till his last hope has died.
Whos can stand up for the Who-Constitution,
bring this election to swift resolution.
writing and calling, by shouting and faxing,
holding to law in a grip unrelaxing.
whatever your politics, all should be joined
belief that the White House cannot be purloined.