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Gorinch

Captured From A Chat Discussion - Some People Still Have A Sense Of Humor!
 
Gore is a.......
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Started by: franklin Sent: 12/4/2000 9:17 PM 62 Replies
I watched the Judge in Leon County deliver his verdict today and couldn't help but think that at some point these Judges, no matter how fair their trying to be, have gotta be thinking "This guy's a weenie".
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From: ®roger Sent: 12/6/2000 2:27 PM 41 of 62
  Franklin...Thanks for the kind words. My life is back to good again and I will be around here a bit more. I tend to agree with you about Nader hurting Gore. Now I wonder if there might be a twist...do you think that might be why he ran? If so..who put him up to it? I have no faith in politicians so I tend to think along these lines. A jaded view, I'm sure, but I have been jaded since '72 when the Dems. did in they're own boy (McGovern). Again, thanks for the words.....

                                                              Roger

From: franklin Sent: 12/6/2000 4:33 PM 42 of 62
oooh, Rog... You do have a cynical mind. On first blush, I would guess that these guys have so much ego that it would be hard to imagine them doing it for 'someone else'. I think Nader really believes his bad guy theories and, his and his alone, ego told him that only he could 'fix' it. Damn the torpedos, full speed ahead. What's everybody else's take? franklin
From: crazy bear Sent: 12/6/2000 8:24 PM 43 of 62
 hello all  abreviation I do know NAFTA. nader hurt gore , gore hurt gore .  tried to send long reply lost connection twice tonight , phone lines not even wet ,  must be gov. consper     crazy bear
From: franklin Sent: 12/6/2000 10:38 PM 44 of 62
Crazy Bear...help me out. I thought Gore supported NAFTA. And the unions supported Gore. Am I off base here, or just not getting your point? Let me know tomorrow...I'm outta here!
From: crazy bear Sent: 12/6/2000 10:46 PM 45 of 62
hello    yes gore suported nafta    yes much more of the farm produce comes from countries with out limitations on pesticides.   yes those middle class jobs are headed south .      crazy bear
From: latiger Sent: 12/7/2000 7:40 AM 46 of 62
Franklin, just for you buddy!  Sung to the tune of "The ballad of Jed Clampett" 
From the BEVERLY HILLBILLIES 

Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named Gore 
A snippy Democrat, who was really quite a bore 
On election day of his Presidential bout 
He thought he lost the fight but he got to recount 
ballots that is... punch cards... butterflies 

Well the next thing you know they're countin' 'em again 
He lost a second time so he gave it all some spin 
They said Palm Beach is the place you oughta be 
So he hired legal experts from Tallahassee 
Florida that is... sunshine state... deadlocked 

Well the next thing you know they wanna change the rules 
And play around with votes cause they think we're a bunch of fools 
They riled lotsa folks and they made a lotta fuss 
Till Cheney came along and started kickin' butts 
Buttocks that is... liberal hineys... left-wing tuchas 

Al Gore whined that the system wasn't fair 
After countin' ballot holes that weren't even there 
Kate Harris said that the recount was a joke 
But that didn't stop the liberals from tallyin' votes 
Democrat votes that is... hangin' chad... dimpled ballots 

Well the State Supreme Court gave Gore another break 
They let him count again cause the party was at stake 
But just when he thought that his dream was born anew 
The overseas votes gave it all to W 
George W that is... Texas Governor... President-elect 

Now it's time to say good-bye to Al and all his kin 
He tried to steal some votes but it didn't help him win 
You're all invited over to his house in Tennessee 
To sit around and blubber at his pity-party 
Nashville that is... pout a while... have some sour grapes 
Ya'll have fun now... Ya Hear?

From: lilacLady Sent: 12/7/2000 9:11 AM 47 of 62
Please be kind to us Floridians who are fairly normal and voted thinking our votes would actually COUNT for something!! Obviously we were wrong! I am not  half blind and senile and I actually voted the right way, no hanging chad, no butterfly ballots, that was on the other side of the state!! I  will admit this state is a screw-up and I, personally, will never  vote here in another election, but give some of us a little credit!!  I don't even play Bingo!! Ha! So don't lump us all in one catagory, how would you feel living in this state at this time, all the Florida jokes, etc. And I STILL say Gore is not a Weenie!! True, the people of this state voted for another Bush, but so did Texas! And I wasn't here when Jeb was voted in so I refuse to take credit for that!!

 
From: franklin Sent: 12/7/2000 8:57 PM 48 of 62
 OFFICIAL DOCUMENT -  DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL PARTY

GUIDE FOR DETERMINING VOTER INTENT
DOUBLE PUNCHED CARDS-- Go to Gore because that person was poor and had no vision insurance and could not see the ballot properly-obviously wanted Gore's medical plan.

NO PUNCHES ON CARD-- Is a Gore vote cast by a blind person who tried to feel for the right spot but could not. They knew Gore would fight for them.

HANGING CHADS-- Gore vote because Gore is a better hang-er on-err than Bush.

DIMPLES ON BALLOTS--Vote for Gore, because every American knows that Gore was supposed to win this election and it is only the dimples that can give Gore a win.

GARAGE DOOR CHADS--Gore vote because Democrats would rather count the suspect ballots in a closed garage with no-one watching.

SWINGING CHADS-- Goes to Big Al, because deep down we all know how he swings from being one person to another.

MULTIPLE DIMPLES AROUND CHADS-- Each dimple is a vote for Al Gore because that person really liked Gore and since the voter intended 3 to 4 votes for Gore, he should get them all.

NO VOTES--These votes must go to Gore because a no vote is a vote against Bush, since the intent of the voter was to say no to Bush, it is a yes vote for Al.

INTERNET VOTES-- Obvious vote for Gore because he invented the Internet.

MILITARY VOTES-- Gore wants all of these, but since voter intent is clear on these, Gore would rather have as few counted as possible. Gore, it would appear, wants to have the NATO/UN control our military so he doesn't care.

BUCHANAN VOTES-- Looks like he lost them all............to Gore.

NADER VOTES--Maybe they were hidden amongst the trees.

BUSH VOTES-- Should go to Gore because the polls, exit polls, and popular vote told Gore everyone wanted him and not Bush.

ALL THE REST OF THE VOTES--Gore concedes these should go to Bush

From: latiger Sent: 12/7/2000 7:40 AM 43 of 62 
Franklin, just for you buddy! 

Sung to the tune of "The ballad of Jed Clampett" 
From the BEVERLY HILLBILLIES 

Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named Gore 
A snippy Democrat, who was really quite a bore 
On election day of his Presidential bout 
He thought he lost the fight but he got to recount 
ballots that is... punch cards... butterflies 

Well the next thing you know they're countin' 'em again 
He lost a second time so he gave it all some spin 
They said Palm Beach is the place you oughta be 
So he hired legal experts from Tallahassee 
Florida that is... sunshine state... deadlocked 

Well the next thing you know they wanna change the rules 
And play around with votes cause they think we're a bunch of fools 
They riled lotsa folks and they made a lotta fuss 
Till Cheney came along and started kickin' butts 
Buttocks that is... liberal hineys... left-wing tuchas 

Al Gore whined that the system wasn't fair 
After countin' ballot holes that weren't even there 
Kate Harris said that the recount was a joke 
But that didn't stop the liberals from tallyin' votes 
Democrat votes that is... hangin' chad... dimpled ballots 

Well the State Supreme Court gave Gore another break 
They let him count again cause the party was at stake 
But just when he thought that his dream was born anew 
The overseas votes gave it all to W 
George W that is... Texas Governor... President-elect 

Now it's time to say good-bye to Al and all his kin 
He tried to steal some votes but it didn't help him win 
You're all invited over to his house in Tennessee 
To sit around and blubber at his pity-party 
Nashville that is... pout a while... have some sour grapes 
Ya'll have fun now... Ya Hear? 
 
From: franklin Sent: 12/7/2000 9:01 PM 49 of 62

How the Gorinch Stole the Election
 
 

Every Who down in Who-ville thought laws meant a lot...

But the Gorinch who wished to rule Who-ville did NOT!

The Gorinch was a liar, he lied without reason!

He made up wild stories the whole voting season.

It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.

It could be he simply just wasn't too bright.

But I think that the most likely reason of all

May have been that he just had no ethics at all.

But whatever the reason, 

His ethics or brains,

He stood there on voting day, dreaming of gains.

While the voters were choosing with each little push

of a button, they gave the election to Bush.

For he knew every Who down in Who-ville below,

would give his career a right jolly heave-ho.

"They're punching their ballots" he sneered with a sneer.

"And tomorrow its final, it's practically here!"

Then he growled with his Gorinch fingers nervously drumming,

"I MUST find a way to stop justice from coming!"

For tomorrow he knew,

All the women and men,

Would wake bright and early and turn on CNN.

And then! Oh the noise! The Republican cheers!

We're Democrat - free, if just for four years.

Then the Whos young and old, would sit down to a feast,

And toast a Republican toast at the least.

They would toast to the truth and to lower taxation,

Two subjects that gave the Gorinch great vexation.

Then he got an idea!

An illegal idea.

The Gorinch got a slimy illegal idea!

"I know just what to do" The Gorinch looked at the clock.

And he beckoned his lawyers from under their rocks.

He plotted and thought, then he thought and he plotted,

They connived and conspired with brains most besotted.

All I need's an excuse...

The Gorinch looked around.

But excuses were scarce, there were none to be found.

The law was quite clear, but the Gorinch simply said.

"If I can't find a reason I'll invent one instead!"

So he called CNN as the others would follow,

He gave them a script which was all rather hollow.

"Dispense with the truth, tell a lie and repeat it"

"If they hear it enough then those suckers will eat it"

Tell make-believe stories to all you can reach,

and tell of the morons who live in Palm Beach.

We won't call them 'stupid' or names that will linger,

Even though they could be on the next Jerry Springer.

Then he loaded some bags like a loser demented,

With thousands of ballots though no law consented.

And proceeded to handle them, changes were simple,

Making up rules about doubles and dimples.

Just dislodge a few chads and the numbers start changing,

Invent a new rule if they need re-arranging.

So the Gorinch grabbed the ballots and started to cheat,

When he heard a small noise sounding quite like defeat.

He turned around fast, it was Katherine Harris,

Who held up the law... and the Gorinch was embarrassed!

The Gorinch had been caught by this Florida daughter,

Who dumped on his plans a great bucket of water.

She stared at the Gorinch and said "Back off, buster"

"I've read the law and this doesn't pass muster"

And the Gorinch had no answer, he knew it was true.

Without lies his political life would be through.

But the Gorinch was so slimy and ever so slick,

He thought up a lie and he thought it up quick.

"I'm not making changes" the old master lied

"There's a chad on this ballot that's dislodged on one side"

"So I'm taking it home for my cronies to mount it"

"Then we'll bring it back here so we can re-count it"

And his fib made the news, which proceeded to sell it

Like snake-oil salesmen they continued to yell it.

Piling the lies just as high as a steeple,

and telling the world "Its the will of the people"

He stole enough votes to defraud the election,

Depriving the Whos of their right to selection.

Establishing precedent of the most dire sort,

Now every election will be handled in court.

This isn't a story that ends with a line

that the Gorinch will suddenly sprout enough spine

to concede that he lost and just step aside

He'll cheat and he'll lie till his last hope has died.

Only Whos can stand up for the Who-Constitution,

And bring this election to swift resolution.

By writing and calling, by shouting and faxing,

By holding to law in a grip unrelaxing.

For whatever your politics, all should be joined

in belief that the White House cannot be purloined.

From: franklin Sent: 12/7/2000 9:02 PM 50 of 62
    The "PALM BEACH POKEY"

TO THE TUNE OF THE HOKEY POKEY

You put your stylus in,

 You pull your stylus out,

You put your stylus in,

And you punch Buchanan out.

You do the Palm Beach Pokey

And you turn the count around,

That's what it's all about!


You put some Gore votes in,

You put the Bush votes out,

You put the Gore votes in,

And you do another count.

You do the Palm Beach Pokey

And you turn the count around,

That's what it's all about!


You bring your lawyers in,

You drag the whole thing out,

You bring your lawyers in,

And you put it all in doubt.

You do the Palm Beach Pokey

And you turn the count around,

That's what it's all about!


You let your doctors spin,

You let the pundits spout,

You let your doctors spin,

And your people whine and pout,

You do the Palm Beach Pokey

And you turn the count around,

  That's what it's all about!

From: latiger Sent: 12/7/2000 9:06 PM 51 of 62
I love it, but you're gonna get attention now!! lmao!
From: franklin Sent: 12/7/2000 9:11 PM 52 of 62
Yeah, I know. Ain't life great!!!
From: franklin Sent: 12/7/2000 9:18 PM 53 of 62
Oh, by the way...I found this stuff at www.gopfun.com  Try out the ballot. It's a hoot! franklin
From: latiger Sent: 12/7/2000 9:22 PM 54 of 62
'K, but not tonight! I'm past my bedtime! See ya tomorrow!
From: Cheeker77 Sent: 12/7/2000 9:37 PM 55 of 62
FRanklin my dear Im in chat. Come get me LOL  Cheeky-pooh
From: hope Sent: 12/8/2000 3:23 AM 56 of 62
hello, its me again.. I just came accrossed this and I had to check it out but it's not what I expected....I almost wet my pants laughing, too funny,  oh by the way, I'm Canadian hope
From: lilacLady Sent: 12/8/2000 9:21 AM 57 of 62
LOVED IT GUYS!! And I take back any nasty thing I was muttering about you!! Ha! This is to show that not ALL Floridians have lost their sense-of-humor!! No, seriously, thanks for replying to my message, I was having a bad hair day. I guess this political crap is getting to me!! Why don't they just put Bush in office and end it already, he'll get there anyway. But who knows how we are all going to feel about him after 2 years. Maybe Gore, or even Clinton, will look pretty good by then. And God help us all if Jeb Bush decides to run too, he ain't done much for Florida!!!!! Have a Nice Day everyone!!
From: FarmerTX Sent: 12/10/2000 9:58 AM 58 of 62
Franklin you are to much but like it.  I have been busy and looks like I missed a lotkeep it coming Farmer
From: franklin Sent: 12/10/2000 10:58 AM 59 of 62
Farmer...good to have you back. Glad you enjoyed it, hope to read more of you soon! franklin
From: chattybrit Sent: 12/10/2000 4:22 PM 60 of 62
Hello Franklin, and everyone else! demseal.jpg  Chat soon,Brit
From: Cheeker77 Sent: 12/13/2000 7:38 AM 61 of 62
This is for you latiger!!! I got this in email thought you'd like it and besides I have to do my job and keep you laughing for 20 days till Brit gets back. LOL I told her I would keep you cheery and laughing. And since I know you are Al Gores number 1 fan I thought I would share this with you.
  Seuss Goes to Florida (Green Eggs and Ham)

Doctor Seuss Goes To Florida

Can we count them with our nose?
Can we count them with our toes?
Should we 
ount them with a band?
Should we count them all by hand?
If I do not like 
the count,
I will simply throw them out!
I will not let this vote count stand

I do not like them, AL GORE I am!

Can we change these numbers here?
Can we 
change them, calm my fears?
What do you mean, Dubya has won?
This is not 
fair, this is not fun
Let's count them upside down this time
Let's count 
until the state is mine!
I will not let this VOTE count stand!
I do not like 
it, AL GORE I am!

I'm really ticked, I'm in a snit!
You have not heard the 
last of it!
I'll count the ballots one by one
And hold each one up to the 
sun! I'll count, recount, and count some more!
You'll grow to hate this 
little chore

But I will not, cannot let this vote count stand!
I do not like 
it, Al Gore I am!
I won't leave office, I'm stayin' here!
I've glued my desk 
chair to my rear!
Tipper, Hillary, and Bubba too,
all telling me that I 
should sue!
We find the Electoral College vile!
RECOUNT the votes until I 
smile!

We do not want this vote to stand!
We do not like it, AL GORE I am!

How shall we count this ballot box?
Let's count it standing in our socks!

Shall we count this one in a tree?
And who shall count it, you or me?
We 
cannot, cannot count enough!
We must not stop, we must be tough!

I do not 
want this vote to stand!
I do not like it AL GORE I am!

I've counted till my 
fingers bleed!
And still can't fulfill my counting need!
I'll count the tiles 
on the floor!
I'll count, and count, and count some more!
And I will not say 
that ! 
I am done!
Until the counting says I've won!

I will not let this vote count 
stand!
I do not like it, AL GORE I am!

What's that? What? What are you 
trying to say?
You think the current count should stay?
You do not like my 
counting scheme?
It makes you tense, gives you bad dreams?
Foolish people, 
you're wrong you'll see!
Your only care should be for me!
I WILL NOT LET THIS 
VOTE COUNT STAND!
I DO NOT LIKE IT. AND AL GORE I AM!
 
 

cheeker77

 
From: latiger Sent: 12/13/2000 7:42 AM 62 of 62
Cheeker, Brittney would be proud of you! You're doing a good job! I love it!!


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